I just have to face the fact that I’m a scibling redshirt

Just like Sam Rockwell’s character in Galaxy Quest, I fear that my role in Scienceblogs:The Movie will probably involve being vaporised within the first five minutes, probably as an anonymous victim of cross-fire in the opening flame-war (Religion? Framing? Maybe religion and framing…). An internet poll once told me so. So, even if I looked like anyone famous, I doubt they’d want to play me.
Feel free to add your casting suggestions (sarcastic or otherwise) here, there or over there.